Wherever You Will Go
by t8kmybreathaway
Summary: Ashley tries to tell Shepard how she feels but can't manage to do so. Feeling defeated she takes refuge in the port-side observation deck and plays a song... ONE SHOT. "Run away with my heart, run away with my hope, run away with my love..."


Author: t8kmybreathaway

Title: Wherever You Will Go

Fandom: Mass Effect

Pairing: FemShep/Ash

Summary: Ashley feels like this is her last chance to tell Shepard how she feels but she chickens out at the last minute. She finds solace in the piano hologram she purchased for her omni tool and plays a song.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to BioWare. I am not making any profit. This is purely for entertainment purposes.

A/N: This is just something that came to me while I was at school and listening to music while doing my homework. I thought it would be perfect from Ashley's point of view and had to write it. The song is by Charlene Soraia and can be found here * * tube. * com/ * watch? * v=CQeXk * CpPGww. Remove spaces and asterisks for link.

**,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-****Ashley's Point of View****-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸**

Ashley watches Shepard closely from the door way. The brunette leans up against the door frame on her right with both hands resting by her face. The Commander looks exhausted and her expression is careworn as she contemplates something on the data pad in her hands; completely unaware of Ashley's presence. This war is wreaking havoc on all of them but none more so than Catherine. The friends who have been lost, the insurmountable odds they face, and the fate of the galaxy weigh heavily on her shoulders. Her scars glow in the dim lighting of her quarters, her bangs falling just over her eyes as her fingers move expertly over the display of the data pad.

The brunette sighs heavily closing her eyes and hangs her head in disappointment. Time is running out and she desperately needs to tell Shepard how she feels but each attempt has ended with her leaving or talking her way out of the real purpose for seeking out the older woman. She had promised herself this time would be different but she still can't bring herself to say a word. Her mouth opens and closes several times before she finally gives up.

Gently, she pushes herself off the door frame and silently leaves Shepard's quarters feeling utterly hopeless. The quiet hum of the elevator reminds her how alone she feels and when it finally stops she feels the slightest amount of relief until her failure comes to mind.

She hugs herself and rubs her hands up and down her arms as she makes her way to the part of the ship that holds solace for her on complete auto pilot. The door hisses open automatically when she steps up to it and then hisses behind her once she was inside the room. Her eyes dart around to make sure she is alone before she opens the shutters to the majestic view from outside.

She stands there for a moment before she sits down at the table with her back to the door and runs her fingers over the white keys of the holographic piano in front of her. She plays the melody from memory; long fingers gliding effortlessly. A minute passes but she keeps playing the melody instead of singing along right away.

Her eyes close and her mind takes her back to a time where things were better, less complicated for the two of them. A time when Catherine looked at her with love and respect, showered her with crooked smiles and witty comments. The first time Ash quoted poetry and the Commander's surprise. Their would be first kiss that was interrupted when Joker made an announcement over the comms. Their real first kiss and the nervousness that melted away when Shepard caressed her cheek lovingly.

Now all she receives are looks of bitterness, resentment, and confusion. Once in a while she sees a brief shimmer of hope but it is quickly replaced with indifference. There is still an underlying concern in the Commander's eyes when Ash catches her staring, something that might resemble love but it is only a glimmer when the brunette's brown eyes meet Catherine's green ones.

And the hurt that Ashley feels is unexpected but well deserved she thinks as tears form in her eyes. The sharp pain takes hold in her chest, somewhere her heart should be. It isn't new. She's felt it before, most notably after Horizon when she saw the look of disbelief and hurt in Catherine's eyes. She knew her words had cut deeply but there was little she could do to take them back. She wanted to. God she had wanted to so badly but her pride wouldn't allow it so she walked away instead. She wrote Shepard a month later but didn't receive a response back.

She's second guessed Catherine's commitment and loyalties since they were reunited on the Normandy leaving Earth; she's even pointed a gun at her. And she hates herself for it all. She sees now how much of an idiot she's been. And she wishes she could just take it all back, start over. Love Shepard the way she should have. And that's when her playing begins to be accompanied by her sultry high alto voice.

**,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-****Shepard's Point of View****-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸**

She's tired, beyond tired actually. It takes a moment for her eyes to focus on the screen of the data pad in her hands. She scrolls through a myriad of reports and scans from planets before switching over to the war reports. She sighs. Their support isn't as high as it needs to be. The building of the conduit is behind schedule.

Catherine is sure she sees Ashley standing at her door but when she looks up the brunette isn't there. Green eyes stare in wonderment. Was she imagining things or had Ash actually been standing there? She turns her eyes back to the data pad. But focus is escaping her as memories flood and blur her vision. Suddenly, she's on the first Normandy. She and Alenko rescue a lone marine whose entire squad was taken out on Eden Prime. She remembers how this woman both terrified and excited her at the same time. She remembers the poem at the end of the email Ash sent her after Horizon.

_Death closes all: but something ere the end_

_Some work of noble note, may yet be done,_

_Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods._

Soon she's standing and walking towards the door. She throws the data pad on her desk knocking over a stack of them in the process but doesn't bother to pick them up. She needs to think and there's only one place on the ship she feels like she can do that without having to be surrounded by this God forsaken war. She pushes the button for the floor and then crosses her arms over her chest.

Everything is quiet until she reaches the third floor hallway. Soft sounds are coming from the portside observation deck. Her brows knit together and she studies the door as if it will tell her something. It's not until she makes out the high note carried several beats that she realizes someone is singing. Curiousness propels her forward until the door is open and she is staring at Ash's back.

The words are muffled by the sight Shepard's brain is trying to process. There is a hologram of a piano on the table. Ashley is wearing her blue casual uniform bent over the program. Her shoulders and arms move in fluid motion as her fingers touch the keys. Shepard realizes the song is over when Ash stops playing but instead of getting up or ending her playing Ashley starts from the beginning of the song.

_So lately, been wondering, _she starts slowly in a low tone. Her voice is shaking just slightly. _Who will be there to take my place? When I'm gone, you'll need love_ _to light the shadows on your face. If a great wave shall fall_ _it would fall upon us all._ _And between the sand and stone_ _could you make it on your own?_

She takes a breath and pulls her voice up an octave. _If I could, then I would; I'll go wherever you will go. Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go. _

The next verse her voice is back to normal. _And maybe I'll work out a way to make it back someday… to watch you, to guide you through the darkest of your days. If a great wave shall fall, it'll fall upon us all. Well then, I hope there's someone out there who… _her pitch goes up an octave as she belts out the next line and chorus unable to hide the emotion in her voice. _Can bring me back to you! If I could, then I would; I'll go wherever you will go. Way up high or down low, I'll go wherever you will go! _The brunette holds the last note for a few beats.

The brunette's hands move over the keys slightly faster. Her voice cracks but she keeps going. _Run away with my heart, run away with my hope, run away with my love… _Catherin can hear the tears hitting the hologram in the brief pause and she wants to move to Ashley, to comfort her, hold her, but she doesn't.

_I know now, just quite how my life and love might still go on. In your heart and your mind I'll stay with you… _She sees Ash take a deep breath and is shocked to hear her pitch two octaves higher this time as she passionately sings. _For all of time! _Then, her voice is back to normal again. _And if I could, then I would; I'll go wherever you will go. Way up high… _her voice cracks again… _or down low, I'll go wherever you will go. _

_If I could make you mine, I'll go wherever you will go. If I could turn back time… _Shepard sees her back hitch and hears the sob in her voice. _I'll go wherever you will go… _She plays for a few beats without singing and then softly whispers. _I'll go wherever __**you**__ will go…_

The brunette's shoulders shake and her fingers tremble as she pushes the omni tool away from her. She is crying barely able to breathe, Catherine realizes. And that's when her feet move forward.

**,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸-****Ashley's Point of View****-,.-~*´¨¯¨`*·~-.¸**

Ashley can't play anymore. Her voice is hoarse and she can't keep it together long enough to even start playing again let alone to sing. She pushes her omni tool away as the pain in her chest becomes unbearable. Her hands tremble and her shoulders shake with every breath. She can no longer hold it in and she begins crying, her tears relentless as they stream down her cheeks. She covers her face with her hands and a loud heartbreaking sob emits from the back of her throat.

There are so many things she should have done, should have said and never did. To say she regrets it would be a gross understatement. She feels her heart constricting and she really believes that this is what a broken heart feels like. And she hates herself for putting Catherine through this.

She cries until she feels someone's hand on her shoulder squeezing gently; the scent of lavender and honey floating to her nose. She recognizes it as Shepard's shampoo and her breath hitches in surprise. She barely has enough time to recover as strong arms wrap around her and pull her into the older woman's chest. Her head rests just below Catherine's chin and lips touch the top of her head.

After a few minutes the tears stop and Ash pushes back to look up at Shepard. Green eyes stare back at her shinning with wetness and suddenly Ashley is upset with herself for making Catherine feel badly. "I'm sorry…" she says. "I'm so sorry, Catherine… I…" her voice breaks and she casts her gaze downward ashamed to even say it because she's acted like such a jerk.

When she feels Catherine's cool calloused hand on her cheek tugging her face back so their gazes meet her tears start anew. "I know…" Shepard breathes out leaning forward. Their lips touch tenderly and hold for a moment as Catherine's other hand touches the brunette's neck and slides up to cup her other cheek. Thumbs caress over her cheek bones softly and brush away her tears. Ash is afraid to move her lips. Afraid she might be dreaming.

Shepard moves her lips in a way that slowly moves Ash's lips apart and she slips her tongue inside slowly. She takes her time exploring the warm cavern and Ash responds in kind her own hands tugging against Catherine's back. They pull apart only for the need of oxygen and Ash rests her forehead against Shepard's. She hugs Ashley so close that it's almost uncomfortable but the brunette says nothing because if she could give Shepard anything to make her happy or ease her pain she'll do it. And Catherine whispers, "I am yours…"


End file.
